Tequila Tuesday
Aijaijai me, tequila tuesday and a party of note….. bad news. Especially when you have to work the next day. Very bad news.
I’ve had one of the most unproductive days in a very long time and it’s not going to get beta.
I wrote the above at about 2 pm. I was really babalaas, badly. By 4 pm I got my second wind and was off to the next do. I had committed to this long ago already, else it would have been tempting to go to bed early. Alas here I am at 23:50. Just got home. Sorting out some personal admin that needs to be done tomorrow. In fact, I also need to work tomorrow.
I am missing T lots. Comms is bad where he is and he is busy. But with him not being here I have seen my friends and I am kuiering them and myself stukkend. (Howzat for good language lol). Tonight started off slow. The friend I committed to is different. Yet, her and I enjoy each other’s company. But here for a whole night just me and her. A bit much. As luck would have it we found lots of people we know and were chatting to everyone all night. With the night ending in such a laugh. I love laughing. Some of my friends make me laugh so hard I cry. I wake up in the night still laughing at them. And I think it is fabulous.
My buddy and I have been on such good terms. Chatting and well just being friends. Today I saw him, said hello for a bit and went on my merry way. Since then he has not been chatty. Strange, coz he’s been so cute and friendly. But not strange becoz me have to remember he has a life. Which does not revolve around me. But he is sweet and special. I like to make him feel that and he makes me feel that a little. Anyway, it’s only about being friends and I must get over it, I’m sure he is ok. And I know I am ok. And that is it.
I need to get to bed or else I will have another wasted day tomorrow.
Another Day
Another day, another drama in the life of me.
T is super stressed. And me don’t cope well with that. He has a stress ball on his back that I just want to massage and make better. When he is in this mood, he doesn’t want to be touched. So I go into sulky mood. “You don’t want me. You don’t like me. Do you have someone else you want to rub your back?”
Oh FFS, get a life girl. You are one to talk. How often don’t you have don’t touch days? But the thing is he is going away. Very often these days. Coping with hormones like a teenager. But I want to be close to him. I want to touch him while he is still here. To comfort him, for all the times I won’t be able to comfort him when he is gone. Men just don’t get it.
Don’t feel like work today, but have lots to do. Maybe I can wing it until Sunday when T’s not here. But the I heard something about a total blackout in our town on Sunday. Best I get on with it then.
T hasn’t packed a thing. Knowing him, he probably hasn’t even thought about it. Hello, you are going away for a long time, you need to plan. Nope, apparently men don’t work like that. Ah, just pack what you think I need. Ja right, those days have gone babe. I will pack, but you decided what. Been there, done that, forgot enough underpants and belts for one life time.
It’s cold, I’m generally not in the mood for this day, but let me get started before I get into trouble.
Hang on, one more thing. A friend’s having a birthday today. He is a Jehova’s Witness. I have been told no presents, no celebration, no nothing. I have decided that then tomorrow will be presents and celebrations. Sorry, I will respect your stuff, but please let me have my little indulgence too. You are my friend.
You Don’t Owe Me
It is cold and miserable here. T is so stressed he says his tummy is warm. That means that nasty ulcer is on the blink again.
Me. I’m in a particularly good mood.
For a change things are going my way.
I stressed my little (ok not quite so little) ass off when I heard that the owners of the business is still gallivanting and leaving me to my own devices.
Once I calmed down I got myself organised, things just got better. So organised that I gave myself the afternoon off yesterday. Ha, when the cats away……..
I have done my latest bank recon and our debtors have decreased by R200 000 from the beginning of the year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fabulous. I think I deserve a medal to be honest, but monetary rewards are also excepted.
As I told T over the weekend, I’m not for sale, but shoes most definitely are. So bring it on.
T is leaving on a business trip for a couple of weeks. It’s not so nice being all by my lonesome, but I tell you what I find it a bit easier. My routine when I’m not on cooking and cleaning duty is to visit as many friends, drink copious amounts of wine and play, play, play……. It sounds dreadful, but T is not good at playing, so serious, always working on something. And that is good because he keeps me from just playing all the time. But when he is not around……….. hehehehe remember all in good clean fun fun playing.
But mostly today I want to dance because people don’t owe us so much anymore!!!!
Mud!!!
I swear the rain gods hate me.
I have a domestic worker once a week. ONCE FFS. Only once.
It seems to always rain on Wednesdays. Which means that my floors are only clean for a mere few seconds on Wednesdays.
Sad.
In love
We went to town on Friday. Yeah stayed in a guesthouse and everything. My favourite spoil is to have people do stuff for like staying in a guesthouse. No cooking, no cleaning, just enjoying. Heaven.
We went shopping and me, being a non gadget person fell in love with a gadget. The smallest of small computers. Sooooo cute. Not sure how practical but so darn cute. I almost bought it right there and then. T held me back. The fact that I have a super duper zooped up laptop, new upgraded, but still having a small problem laptop at home is off course a problem when considering buying a new one. I just wish I could sort out this problem I’m having with it. It is not at all unusable, but it is not functioning 100 %. I copied all my stuff onto a disk last night and is seriously considering having it formatted (is that even a word??) I don’t know the correct jargon, but it needs someone who does. Hopefully I will fall out of love again with the little darrrrling I saw in the shop. Or maybe, just maybe T stopped me from buying cause he wants to buy her for me. I want a pink one. Aaaaaah want want want, don’t need. That is the problem.
T is going away for two weeks. Two whole weeks!!! It is a long time. But time normally flies since I try to fit sooooo much into those days which are me time and me time only. And I will be travelling the long weekend at the end of September so that makes the two weeks already only 10 days. Going to see my friends and have some girlbonding time.
I need shoes………. or is it want? No, it is really need, when I tried to wear one of my pairs from last summer it just broke. Just like that. I’m sad it was one of my favourites, but at least I get to go shoe shopping!!!!! One of my other favourite things.
This is probably a whole post by itself, but I found something by mistake I shouldn’t have. Now I know about it. And I don’t know what to do with the info or about the thing. I need to do a whole loooong post about that, but for know I am still in my happy place and am not going to worry about that thing…….. just for now.
Wine and PMS
Went to say goodbye to friends leaving on holiday last night. Man I can never just pop in there. Never. I love them to bits though. We drank lots more wine than what we should have, but they are on holiday. Me on the other hand……..
I got up very brave this morning, put on my trainers and faced the music. Well actually I plugged in the iPod, but just could not find any music suitable for my mood. Normally my time in the morning puts me in a good mood. I listen to the music, sing sometimes, to poor T’s disgust and it sets the mood for the day.
I don’t know if it is the wine or PMS or just me, but this morning I could not settle into a routine of breathing, checking my heart rate, relaxing and enjoying me time. I kept on fiddling with the iPod, changing the music, adjusting the earphones, pulling on the wires. Still did my time, and that makes me feel good though.
T is working very hard. They have crises upon crises at work. He is so tired, I almost left him to sleep in this morning, but he woke up and needed to get back to sort out more shit. Have I told you I love him? I love him, I just wish he would love himself.
D-Day
Today was supposed to be D-day for T to decided about his career and our future country of residence. He made me get up at an unGodly hour this morning to talk. I am still not sure why. First of all I have said all I have to say and it is up to him now. Secondly I cannot remember a single damn thing he said, just that he held me so tight I thought he was going to suffocate me. All in the name of love, I guess
Shame I hope he is ok…. and have made a damn decision. My cupboards are a mess, but I have decided I am not organising anything until I no yeah or neigh. Once I know I will work out a plan of action and take it from there.
Love is in the Air
I have realised this weekend that we love each other. More than words can say.
Yes, we have hurt each other.
Yes we have been through tough times.
But the love there is between us is surprisingly strong. And I don’t think I will cope without it.
So, I just go to make the best of the bad times (everyone goes through them) and enjoy the good times (no matter how few and far in between they sometimes seem).
T went out on his own on Friday evening. I thought he might be planning something like that when I got home and he was dressing in his jeans. He told me he was going shopping.
When I got back home later he wasn’t there.
Went about making supper and went to bed.
He got home somewhere in the middle of the night. Which is fine, I do that sometimes. Difference is, he knows where I am, whom I’m with and that I am eating and drinking, not doing shit you know.
Anyway, surprisingly on Saturday when he woke up he was like a different person. Friendly, talkative, loving and all that. We had a good day. Even went out for the rugby. On Sunday same thing. As I said I will cherish the good days and bare the bad ones. We all have them. And I am not leaving him unless I catch him in the act of doing something that will hurt me. That’s it.
All of this proves my point of the need of contact with other humans we have. We need to see people. Hear their problems. Say aaaah I’m sorry if they are feeling down. We need that. If only T will realise that somedays and not just put me down for being so social.
But I love him nevertheless. Please remind me the next time I want to kill him.
Silence……..
I have lots to do, but just need to vent quickly and this is my venting place.
Last night was my monthly girls night. It is nothing dirty or under ground. It is a group of girls getting together eating, drinking wine, talking, that’s all. T has a bee in his damn bonnet about these nights. Granted, we do sometimes drink lots of wine and I have come home at 3 in the morning. But that is because I been with my girls and we were having a good time, not because I have been doing dark and dirty things.
He went off on how he doesn’t want me to drive his car after having a few wines and I should stay at home and and and……………
Now that is exactly the wrong thing to do. Don’t go there. Well, he chose to go there and it resulted in me giving him a piece of my mind. Which resulted in him still not talking to me.
He knows his childish not talking to me really upsets my insides. I am a verbal person. I need to talk. What he probably doesn’t realise is him not talking to me makes me sooooo angry (not the fight, the silence) that I want to break something, I want to go out and do something really dark and dirty with someone really dark and dirty, just to show him I can if I wanted to.
Now, that is really childish, but I am just so freaking helpless when he goes into his silent modes. I am really trying so damn hard for it not to effect me, but I really really wish he would find another way of dealing with being angry at me.
Anyway that’s me for the day, a bit pissed off, but I will be ok, gonna go for lunch with a friend then drinks with another group and then only home, so he can be in silence by himself. I did phone him to ask him out for lunch, he grunted something that sounded like no, so sorry for you.
All’s well
First of all I want to say the asshole who was irritating me and embarressing himself yesterday did apologise. A little late, because I have told everyone he is an ass and I intend to contact his employer who happens to be the bank where I and the business bank. The more I think about it the more he irritates me, because he is the face of the bank and if those are the assholes they employ, what the hell are they doing with my banking!!! Anyway, sometimes you can’t tell someone is an asshole until they work for you and if I don’t complain they may never know he is an asshole.
Enough asshole stuff.
I’ve told you that Bargain Betty was on the prowl over the weekend. In between my purchases where a pair of cute slipper booties. I love them, wore them then whole weekend. Yesterday my soul sista goes shopping and arrives with another pair!! I am soooo chuffed, will take one pair to our beach cottage. So I never have to go without my cute booties.
T is going to Cape Town next weekend for business. Lucky devil. Well, I think I am going the end of the month. It is a long weekend and I think I need to see my soul sista down there and enjoy the good life a little. I think I need to book the ticket soon soon and be done with it. Once it is done, it always feels like cast in stone to me. Signed and sealed. Cannot be changed. Although with SAA it is just about that. And if you do get it changed after a gazillion phone calls and forms to fill in you pay as much as you would have for a new ticket, you may as well have just booked a new damn ticket and saved yourself all the trouble.
Anyhoo life is good here, need to get some work done.
